turn off that stupid beat.

i'm at my cousin's house in massachusetts (perhaps sitting in the same exact chair i sat in a year ago) and i have to say:
high speed internet is better than everything else.


melissa bank wrote this essay for washington post magazine about having breast cancer and then getting a concussion soon after radiation. she goes to this party where everyone is a different age and she doesn't know any one. when she leaves the party that she did not enjoy with the friend who took her there, she says to her, in an apparently slightly menacing way (you have to read the essay), she says something to the effect of "i just don't have time for this. i just don't have time." she says life is too short, right? cancer, concussion, or not.

yeah, well, maybe i should've been pissed off last night too, after a similar party.
parties are not worth it to be there if there is no danceable music and no one i know or no one i am going to know. being drunk at parties like that does not help either, so i don't even bother. part of the reason people drink so much is to avoid thinking stuff isn't fun. meh on that.

anyways. anyways. c.s. lewis is hella preachy. i guess that's my way of avoiding feeling guilty about not being 100% goodly. and lol on harry potter spoilers and this. someone who knew him said "In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one." and lol on humorous news parodies.


i talked to josh the other day, and he asked me if i was ready to come back to school. i said "yeah" in a voice that was neither enthusiastic nor reluctant. i'm ready, but just. i got used to this non-pomona existance. ( i should add that i do enjoy these occassional guest apparences by pomona people, such as lindsee and eddie, whom i will see this fair weekend). i don't know what to miss anymore. or what to expect. change is welcome though, so bring it on.